One Grain More

Hilarious Les Miserable parody

 The Les Miserables food allergy parody that will knock your hypoallergenic socks off! When Marius, Cosette, and Epipen are invited to an allergy-friendly party at the house of Jean Valjean, each must create a dish absent of all possible allergens. To view the full creation story of "One Grain More," visit http://weblog.michaelbihovsky.com. **Lyrics** VALJEAN One grain more A dash of millet flour might be the key This never-ending road to gluten free This horrifying food I eat Will never taste the same as wheat One grain more... COSETTE A quarter cup of cornflake crumbs To meet my carbohydrate quota VALJEAN One grain more MARIUS & COSETTE A teaspoon of some xanthan gum And still it tastes like...baking soda EPIPEN One more dairy substitute MARIUS & COSETTE Will I ever eat again? EPIPEN Drinking oat milk from a carton MARIUS & COSETTE What I'd give for pizza pie EPIPEN Now I spend my days confused MARIUS & COSETTE Or a slice of beef on rye... EPIPEN Wond'ring how you milk an oat VALJEAN It's so good to see you, Quinoa! You're the protein source I chose Still, you look as if I've seen ya Coming out of someone's nose MARIUS & COSETTE Flax instead of eggs Try to make it whip Now what do we use Instead of chocolate chips? Carob doesn't work Carob is a trap Anyone who's had it Knows it tastes like crap! VALJEAN & EPIPEN When the hell is this stuff dated? MARIUS & COSETTE Burned and bloated day and night VALJEAN & EPIPEN Why's it smell like something died? COSETTE What on earth is "lecithin"? MARIUS Love, I fin'ly defecated! EPIPEN This does not feel like a bun... ALL Do you hear the people sneeze And cough and wheeze From allergies? VALJEAN One grain more! MARIUS (simul) So I added wheat -- I'm sorry We still had some left in stock Nothing says "it's time to party" Like anaphylactic shock So I guess this must be Quinoi It's not so gross, I suppose Still it looks as if I've seen ya... COSETTE (simul) Will I ever eat again? What if there's a trace of tree nuts? Someone get my Epi-pen I'm not supposed to breathe in peanuts! EPIPEN (simul) Have you ever milked an oat? Guess it's better than a goat Try a little nog Smoother than a silk Even though it's made Of neither eggs nor milk! Have another roll Harder than a rock Better hold your breath, Because it tastes like- VALJEAN & MARIUS Tomorrow we will bitch and moan Tomorrow we'll need cortisone ALL Tomorrow we'll discover foods That even vegans have forsworn! Wish me luck Mother(BLEEEEEEEEEP) One grain more... - See more at: http://www.therealfoodchannel.com/videos/humor-2/one-grain-more.html#sthash.80EZZYcn.dpuf